In the Beginning was the Word How

(Disclaimer-This article is written as an ironic look at the self styled Yahoo Kitchen Chat Muftis and
is not a reflection of true muftis and scholars of Islam of whom I have the greatest respect for.)
If you have been around Islam chat for long enough you will have come across a small group of Yahoo Kitchen Chat Muftis This nefarious group are mostly men loved and adored by their revert sisters, who can hardly breathe as they wait for pearls of wisdom to drop from the lips and be typed from the fingers of the venerated ones.Thanks to the wonders of 21st centuary technology and modernity there is also a small but growing group of female Yahoo Kitchen Chat Muftis, left to thier own devices this vorciferous bunch can hog a mic in the main chat room for hours, as they publicly discuss intimate details of womanly life.
The Key to Sucess- for being a sucessful Yahoo Kitchen Chat Mufti, is to have the ability to talk for hours on the most simplest aspects of Islam.You must be able to wax lyrical about a myriad of minutae to appear importent and knowegable, to your revert acolytes.
Equipment- the Yahoo Kitchen Chat Muftis main piece of equipment is of course his computer, whether that be desktop lap top and of course for portability the all importent I Phone.A good headset so the acolytes can listen to the dulcet tones of your voice is a must.Its not a good look for a Mufti vying for Alpha status to be contantly on the mic saying Allo Allo Allo, because said Mufti is not sure whether he can A- be heard or B-Is not hearing anything.This also makes one appear to be in the throws of geriatric senility, instantly negating the attempt for Alpha Mufti Status.
Another importent piece of equipment and a must if you want to move up in the world of the Yahoo Kitchen Chat Mufti is a web cam, Cam2Cam mufti status is the highest order of Yahoo Kitchen Chat Mufti.
Loctation-with the advent of I Phones and lap tops you can be a Yahoo Kitchen Chat Mufti from any where you choose these days.But tradition has it that the kitchen is position if choice for many a Yahoo Mufti,from here trhey can not only broad cast their pearls of wisdom, but they can also dole out recipes and regale the acolyte with tales of kitchenly disasters.Tales such as expploding eggs, stodgy rice and burnt fry pans have beeen know to be spoken of, just to name a few name a few.