To conference or not to conference that is the question!!

To conference or not to conference that is the question that faces many a wannabe Yahoo Kitchen Chat Mufti.For one facial hirsuteness enamoured Yahoo kitchen Chat Mufti whether he waxes on lyrical about his questionable cooking skills in main chat (always a good way to get the women talking), or whether he goes into conferance and gets dribbled over and panted upon by the American pitbull and associates this has become a major issue.While being able to reminisce, about ones various past positions, for the acolytes and synchopants is all very well, the chance of missing out on impressing a new revert with ones narrow version of the truthcan make a Yahoo Kitchen Chat Muftis life a complex one.So often he who is enamoured with his hirsute face can be seen flying in and out of the main chatroom,making clims about how wonderful his conference is, while trying to lay the bait for any unwary new revert of the female kind.If the talk of positions gets to intense or the salacious gossip to interesting, one can often see the American pitbull or one of the syncophants dashing into main chat between exciting installment to keep note of what they in the conference are missing out on.

Synchophants,brains and Mutant Mullahs....

Those males who surround the Yahoo Chat Muftis are known as "The Mutant Mullas", this bunch of mindless synchophants do not have minds of their own.But this can be mainly attributed to the apparent lack of size of the Mutant Mullahs brains as pictured above.So with a brain less than half the size of a normal human, its not suprising the Mutant Mullah synchophants cannot think for themselves. They normally have only three responses, to any given statement made by the Yahoo kitchen Chat Muftis..na'am , aiwa and ee.... all versions of the word yes.Quite often the Mutant Mullahs can be found acting as wranglers in chat rooms, rounding up people like mindless sheep tp go into the Yahoo Kitchen Chat Muftis private conferences....more about these next!!

And in Breaking News at this hour

And in breaking news this hour, the Monkey has just been handed this cover of the cheif acolytes most famous or should that be most infamous contribution to Hustler magazine.The treatise on how a blonde eats a banana. plumbs the depths of the depraved abuse of bananas and caused quite a controversy in its day.

The Mufti and the Chief Acolyte

One hirsute contender for Alpha Yahoo Kitchen Chat Mufti, has for his chief acolyte a woman known as the American Pitbull.Strangely enough she has remained the same age for the past ten years. But far be it for anyone to question this basic fact.Waxing on lyrically about her beauty he spends hours in private conferences with her. Where she drags all the other male acolytes of said mufti. Where for hours she tries to keep them entertained with her indepth knowledge of all the message board scandals her over active imagination can invent... and yes they are some scandals the woman herself, makes proud claims to having shared her sordid sexual fantasies in a tatty little magazine known as Hustler. Yes you heard it correct Hustler, one can only but imagine the hours of enthrallment this woman provide the said wannabe Alpha Yahoo Kitchen Chat Mufti and his acolytes

Alas for the wannbe Alpha Yahoo Kitchen Chat Monkey and his acolytes the reality of the American Pitbull and the imagined image are very far apart.

Tigre the dancing Mufti

A new and curious phenomenon or as the Greeks would say φαινόμενα amongst the yahoo chat muftis....is the lambada, for those who dont know , the lambada is a fast and sensual Brazilian dance for groups or couples done with stomachs touching. A good example of what the lamabada is all about can be found at this You tube video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AfTl5Vg73A
The lambada is the modern version of an old sensual dance from the north of Brazil.....epitomized by the spins and rounded skirts in which the women dancer tries to cover the man with.Mind you these days the skirts are so short, the only thing a good chat mufti is liable to be covered with is a jug of cold water after he passes out at the flash of a pair of knickers a sight no decent chat mufti would admit to seeing.So this writer was very shocked to witness the discussion of the intimate details of the lambada by one of yahoo chats preeminient kitchen muftis and one of his acolytes in the mian chatrooms, if they can speak of thisin the main chatroom one has to wonder what is discussed in the now infamous teaching classes he holds in the privacy of the Yahoo conference facility.One can only assume that in the 1990's said chat mufti was a big fan of those two tacky movies "‘Lambada’ and ‘The Forbidden Dance’ " one could almost imagine him sneaking into the cinema night after night.................... oh no one could not take that thought any further it could be dangerous to ones mental health. Mind you the image of a portly greying phamacist attempting to practice the sensual moves of the forbidden dance in an attempt to lose weight is enough to make one fall off ones computer desk chair..Yahoo chat muftis can be dangerous to ones health it appears.

Narcissism and the Yahoo Kitchen Chat Mfuti

To become a Yahoo kitchen chat mufti, requires a certain amount of narcissism.The word narcissism comes the Greek Myth about Narcissus a young man whose emotional investment was in his own reflection, the story ending with him lost to the world as he stare as himself in a pool of still water.
A Yahoo Chat Muftis extreme self confidence and desire to be at the center of things self-confidence, reflects the narcissistic tendencies, which makes the Yahoo Chat Mufti appear charming and attractive.Surrounded by a coterie of admiring reverts and acolytes, armoured by a positive self-regard, the Yahoo Kitchen Chat Mufti with a moderate case of narcissism can cruise through chat feeling pretty good about himself or herself.But to compete for alpha status of Alpha Yahoo Kitchen Chat Mufti one has to have a case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.This disorder characterized by an exaggerated sense of self- importance, the ability to over exaggerate one acomplishments, and an exhibitioinists need for attention and admiration,provide the perfect qualities needed to reach Alpha Mufti status.The potential foible is that this disorder will also result in an inapproriate reactions to the criticisms of others.This foilble can be seen exhibited on any given day in chat when he or she trying to achieve Alpha Yahoo Kitchen Chat Mufti, is perhaps mildly censured for presenting a wrong idea when in the depths of an obviously one sided debate.There will ensue cries of jealousy and accusations of being obssessed with said Alpha Yahoo Kitchen Chat Mufti, scense such as this end in yells of Conference Conference, in which the Alpha Yahoo Kitchen Chat Mufti gather up his/her reverts and acolytes and they rush into conference where the reverts and acolytes can rub balm on to the wounded ego of the Alpha Yahoo Kitchen Chat Mufti.

The Importance of Hairyness!!

To become an Alpha Yahoo Kitchen Chat Mufti, a certain amount of hirsuteness is required.Not for them is it the required beard, but a mustache carefully cultivated, and with it own name.The wannabe Yahoo Kitchen Chat Mufti will wax lyrical for hours over the size of his Tache, calling it lovingly the 4x4, and hint daringly to the adoring acolytes about the secrets delight that can be invoked by the said tache. Another strange boast of those aiming for Alpha Yahoo Kitchen Chat mufti status, is to boast about the amount of wind one passes, one aiming for alpha status was seen to make the claim that the amount of wind he passed was Jurrasic sized.Now it is debatable whether he was speaking of the amount of wind that came out of his mouth or his back side.But one can only assume these claims are perhaps to do with the mating rituals of those wanting to assume Alpha Yahoo Kitchen Mufti status.

In the Beginning was the Word How

(Disclaimer-This article is written as an ironic look at the self styled Yahoo Kitchen Chat Muftis and
is not a reflection of true muftis and scholars of Islam of whom I have the greatest respect for.)
If you have been around Islam chat for long enough you will have come across a small group of Yahoo Kitchen Chat Muftis This nefarious group are mostly men loved and adored by their revert sisters, who can hardly breathe as they wait for pearls of wisdom to drop from the lips and be typed from the fingers of the venerated ones.Thanks to the wonders of 21st centuary technology and modernity there is also a small but growing group of female Yahoo Kitchen Chat Muftis, left to thier own devices this vorciferous bunch can hog a mic in the main chat room for hours, as they publicly discuss intimate details of womanly life.
The Key to Sucess- for being a sucessful Yahoo Kitchen Chat Mufti, is to have the ability to talk for hours on the most simplest aspects of Islam.You must be able to wax lyrical about a myriad of minutae to appear importent and knowegable, to your revert acolytes.
Equipment- the Yahoo Kitchen Chat Muftis main piece of equipment is of course his computer, whether that be desktop lap top and of course for portability the all importent I Phone.A good headset so the acolytes can listen to the dulcet tones of your voice is a must.Its not a good look for a Mufti vying for Alpha status to be contantly on the mic saying Allo Allo Allo, because said Mufti is not sure whether he can A- be heard or B-Is not hearing anything.This also makes one appear to be in the throws of geriatric senility, instantly negating the attempt for Alpha Mufti Status.
Another importent piece of equipment and a must if you want to move up in the world of the Yahoo Kitchen Chat Mufti is a web cam, Cam2Cam mufti status is the highest order of Yahoo Kitchen Chat Mufti.
Loctation-with the advent of I Phones and lap tops you can be a Yahoo Kitchen Chat Mufti from any where you choose these days.But tradition has it that the kitchen is position if choice for many a Yahoo Mufti,from here trhey can not only broad cast their pearls of wisdom, but they can also dole out recipes and regale the acolyte with tales of kitchenly disasters.Tales such as expploding eggs, stodgy rice and burnt fry pans have beeen know to be spoken of, just to name a few name a few.